


Betrayal

by NimWallace



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Cigarettes, Ficlet, Gen, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 13:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NimWallace/pseuds/NimWallace
Summary: Sherlock feels like he’s betrayed both John and Mary by having feelings for John. Mary tells him the truth.





	Betrayal

It was in early March she told him.

John was quietly playing with Rosie in the other room and Sherlock had gone outside for a cigarette.

It was hard sometimes, to see John and Rosie together. As much as he dearly loved them both, Rosie did look so much like Mary and God she had Mary’s eyes and that hurt.

But she had John’s smile, something he would always love.

John didn’t know he’d started smoking again.

He had right before the wedding—lit his first cigarette in a year after picking out napkins for the tables.

Breathing it in felt more like relief than sin.

He hadn’t touched anything else though—a miracle, really. Another thing he did for John Watson.

But the cigarettes were enough for now, and when he stood outside in the cold London air he felt smaller than the rest of the world.

These streets, this city was so much a part of him and he such a part of it, yet they seemed to understand each other like father and son.

There were parts of London Sherlock would never know, and vice versa.

“People watching?”

It was Mary, of course, because she surely knew why he left. Could see the pain in his eyes.

He couldn’t look at her, he just looked at his shoes. Because looking at her felt like betraying John.

Everything he did felt like betraying John Watson.

“As always,” he said, taking a drag.

Mary stepped up beside him.

“It’s all right, you know,” she said, and Sherlock looked away again. “You’re not betraying either of us, Sherlock,” she said softly.

“Stop it,” Sherlock demanded hoarsely.

“I’m not going to tell him, Sherlock,” Mary promised. “But you’re in love with him, and you might be forever, and I certainly will be. That’s not the only thing that makes us two of a kind, is it?”

Not at all.

“We’re not so similar,” Sherlock murmured. He would never hurt John the way Mary had. At least, not on purpose.

“I think he loves you too, Sherlock,” Mary whispered.

He made a sound something like a strangled sob, nearly dropping his cigarette as he desperately tried to hold his chest to his body.

“Stop—“

“I’m serious, Sherlock. I think he still loves you. I don’t think he’ll ever love me, not properly.” There were tears in her voice.

“Don’t you dare leave him,” Sherlock hissed. “Don’t you dare leave him and break his heart—“

“I won’t. But someday, Sherlock, he’s going to figure out he’s made a mistake. I hope I’m not around for it.”

She left him standing in the street.


End file.
